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  Robert Douglas

 Page updated on 07/22/05

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Who is Robert Douglas?

 I am a 38 year old gay man that currently resides in Dania Beach, Florida. I have been keeping a journal via Blogger. Com one of the blogs is about is my diagnosis, treatment and experiences being infected with the HIV Virus, while the other is more just a journal of my personal experience and what might currently be on my mind concerning any issues.

I was so caught up in living a fantasy world, especially online with people and needless to say I have done some cruel things such as leading people to believe I was someone who I truly wasn't not only did I do this once, but I did it twice and more than likely would have done it over, and over again. Yes it's sad but I am the first one to admit truth and state the obvious. - I didn't care much about myself, who I was and lacked a great amount of self-confidence, assurance within me. I was a person who was able and eager to put up a fast and great sounding "front" while on the inside I hadn't even discovered life.

That all changed for me on May 14, 2004 when I was diagnosed being HIV positive immediately I began to feel passionate, as if I had some mission or a special road to travel, and isn't that the truth. I have my own thoughts, beliefs and theories as does everyone.

The first month or so all that I did was sit around and talk about my illness with just about anyone who would listen, some friends say I still talk to much about it but it's just my way of handling it. Again for once in my life I have something to be passionate about, there is something that motivates me and what's sad, warped or twisted about this situation is that it takes a disease that is terminal that coupled with the fact of no matter how you twist, cut, or turn the situation the bottom line is that it's a fatal disease has created this drive within myself, this motivation to be better than I ever have been. For once in my life I've realized my purpose.

The day I was diagnosed I said that I would be an advocate for this disease that I would find an way to battle and pave the road that I must walk so that others who walk behind me on this road will have an easier path to follow. For me the most critical time was after first being diagnosed, not having any benefits to help and being worried to death the first two or three weeks it took to get an appointment with the clinic the hospital was sending me to for my follow-up with an HIV doctor. My first line of efforts are probably going to be geared at starting up a HIV + support group for people who are newly diagnosed, this seems to be the roughest period of time.

How did you become infected with HIV?

This question constantly puzzles me because it makes me wonder, even more so recently with situations in my life, I know when I was diagnosed based solely upon the numbers of viral load/cd4 counts the doctors assumed that I had been positive for many years, as much as possible 8 to 10 years they say. That does coincide with the time frames of being with my last sexual partner, the past 2 years I was involved with someone more on a mental level and we haven't had the chance to meet person to person so that relationship has been totally non-sexual, prior to that I was single for quite sometime and well when you do the math again it does add up to my possible infection being from my ex lover whom I was with for about 4 1/2 years, the odd thing about it was that I tested several times at end of our relationship and always tested negative. As for the particulars of "how", well I can tell you that anal sex wasn't ever something either of us got into very often, 99.9% of the time we only engaged in oral sex. From that you can derive what you wish.

Have you made him aware of your status?

Yes, it took some courage and for the first month or so after being diagnosed I waffled back and forth about whether or not I should make him aware, the more I sat and thought about it. The more I realized first of all he is currently with someone who has full blown aids, secondly it was just the right thing to do, for my sake and sanity, and secondly just incase to help increase his own awareness and potentially stop the spread of the disease if he wasn't aware.

What other goals does Robert Douglas have?

Eventually I would like to return to school at some point in my near future, I have let 38 years slip past me and now it's time to make up for the past, using each and every day as wisely as I possibly can, needless to say there are a few health issues I need to still get cleared up before I can actively seek returning to school to further advance my education.

Where does Robert currently reside, and where did he grow up?

I reside in Broward County, Florida inside a city named Dania Beach, I'm approximately 3 to 5 minutes driving time to Ft Lauderdale/Hollywood International. I grew up primarily in North Miami, south of here in Dade County Florida. There were times during my youth were I did live in parts of Broward, - Miramar, Hollywood, Deerfield Beach just to name a few of the cities I lived in as a teenager through out Broward.

What is your sexual preference?

I don't know why people insist on asking me this question, however it is one I get asked a lot so I'll answer this question very simply refer to the first line of purple text on this page and I think you'll discover the answer to that, oh sorry darling you were talking am I catcher or pitcher? Does it really matter, who catches and who pitches?

What are your favorite movies?

The genre of films/movies I like varies, I am mostly the type that enjoys comedy, I'm a really big sap when it comes to drama's and the older I get the more I find myself enjoying Thrillers/Horror and Science Fiction. I am also a big kid at heart and enjoy many of the children's classic like, The Wizard of Oz, Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory, The Never-Ending Story, and oh yes lets add to that genre (even though they aren't classic's yet) The Harry Potter Movies, beyond that some of the movies I really like are, Beaches, (actually anything with Bette Midler in it), The Color Purple, Gangs Of New York, Titanic, Gothica, Stir of Echoes, Signs, The Deep End Of The Ocean, Dangerous Minds just to name a few.

What about your Musical Interests?

Music has always played a major role in my life, without it I'm not quite sure what I would have done, coming from a large family with many cousins who were much older than I was my musical interests are varied, I like Standards and Show tunes, I like Pop, Top 40, Dance, Country, (yes I even said country, even though it's one of my least favorite genre's), Classical Music & Jazz. I also play the keyboards and have also done lead vocals for a band many many moons ago. Some of my favorite artist include Aretha Franklin, Lauryn Hill, Alanis Morissette, Natalie Merchant, Creed, Metalica, The Dixie Chicks, Reba McIntyre, Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, Madonna, Cyndi Lauper. I could go on for days naming artist and groups that I enjoy.

What other hobbies/interests do you currently have?

I enjoy a vast number of things, camping, fishing, the outdoors, the beach, reading and writing poetry, my doggies (Chalupa & Cokie), bowling, tennis, racquetball, football, baseball, dining out, entertaining at home, cooking, crocheting quilts & blankets, taking long drives, going to concerts and live theater events, hanging out with friends, exercising, some gardening (taking care of my bonzai trees, the bonzai orchard, and a couple of other plants), tarot, astrology, metaphysics and developing my own psychic abilities.

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This site was last updated 04/25/05

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